Under Seige - or - The Battle of the Greenhouse

This week I am reporting on the Battle of the Greenhouse - The latest bulletin on those skinny old bags of bones.

Burke and Hare…

Burke and Hare are very affectionate and cry to be fussed whenever I go into the gar

den. The slightest attention sends them into deliriums of joy.

But they are also consumate claim jumpers - who appear to feel that - failing all attempts to move into the house – taking over the greenhouse is next best thing.

Which would not be a problem if they did not swear at me every time I go in to water my veg!

Apparently watering pots on the greenhouse staging - when they are kipping underneath - is not appreciated... but as they are always there its that or let my plants die of thirst. And worse? They are now treating one corner as a potty... which is not good for for my tomatoes I can tell you! -

Though possibly some sort of statement on Burke and Hare's parts ref. the enforced cold showers...

But the war raging over possession of the Greenhouse is as nothing compared with the veritable siege being waged on the house.

They grow bolder by the day!!

I can no longer leave a door or window open for even a few minutes - by the slightest chink – or they are in!

When I call Obi, Betty and Dilly in to eat I have to take a head count as they race past, or else find all five seated by the kitchen counter waiting for their supper.

I am starting to feel like a club bouncer as I utilise all the defensive tactics at my disposal (barricades, water pistols, yard brooms etc ) to dissuade these old darlings from rushing the door every time it opens.

And I am constantly forced to physically move them aside to gain either access of egress.

Every evening, for the past few weeks - come rain or shine and way into the wee small hours - these poor old codgers sit outside the back door peering into the kitchen and looking pathetic – half standing if I go near them in the hope that at last I will finally relent and and let them into the warm.

Now that I can get closer to them I can see they have huge bald patches. In fact poor Hare is almost completely bald in the belly! They must have been neglected for far longer than the two months that they have been in my garden to get into this state.

(sigh)… but no, no, no – I can’t have 5 cats… I mustn’t!!!

But what can be done?

They are sweet old boys - but 5 cats? Not on... however cat-obsessed I may be...

I have tried contacting both the CPL and RSPCA – both of whom are chocolate teapots with no suggestions beyond offering to pay ‘some’ of the vet fees to get them fit and MAYBE get them on a list for rehoming in a few months time; and meanwhile I will, of course, home them at my expense, etc, etc!

Anyone reading this want to adopt two cats?